I know I have been M-I-A for the last few weeks. There have been a lot of new changes in my life. I started back at work on the 4th of September and Olive started school on the same day.
The first few weeks for very hard for me, a lot harder than I thought they would be. I mean I knew coming back from maternity leave wasn’t going to be easy, but I didn’t realize just how difficult it would be. I don’t know if it’s because I was out for so long and I just needed more time to get back into the swing of things, or it’s just harder now that I have a child when before it was just me but either way it was a rough start and the third week was the worst. I just felt really overwhelmed, like no matter how hard I tried to make things better, more things would just keep going wrong.
I knew a lot of this was just temporary and it would get better. I just needed to get through the next few weeks. I had to just keep my head up, stay positive, find some humor even in the most difficult situations, and everything would be okay. Every job is like this. You have ups and downs. You have super easy days and super hard days. Some days go by really smoothly, others not so much, but you make it through. You get stronger and you learn more and more.
The one thing that helps me get through a hard day is visiting Olive in the infant room during my lunch break. It’s my favorite time of the day. I’m very lucky that I have a job where I can see my daughter during the day. I feel bad for the moms that have to drop their babies off and then drive in to work somewhere else.
I’m also grateful that Olive is doing so well in the infant room. Every time I visit her, she’s very happy and smiling. That makes things much easier for me. If she was crying or seemed unhappy, I don’t think I’d ever want to leave her, but thankfully she’s doing great in there! She is enjoying stories, and music class, and buggy rides outside. I even got pictures of her finger painting last week. It makes me happy to see her having a good time in her class room.
The first weekend after my first week back to work, I was so exhausted that I just laid around as much as I could plus I wasn’t feeling that great either. Thankfully I felt better during the second week. The second weekend, I had a little bit more energy and was able to take Olive to a nearby farm where we just walked around and looked at farm animals. They did have events there that day, but Olive was too young to participate.
The third weekend Kevin and I took Olive to Peddlers Village to see the scarecrows and the spot where we got married almost two years ago. It was such a nice Fall day. It was the first time in a while that I was able to stand outside and not feel uncomfortable in any way.
We have been super busy with school events too. We had our back to school night a few weeks ago, and last week we had picture day. Olive did such a great job, smiling for the camera. I cannot even believe how great her pictures came out! We also have our Halloween party and Parade to look forward to too! As crazy and busy as things are, I must say that it is nice to be involved in a community and to have help and support from other teachers and parents.
And yes, things have gotten much better at work. Just like I knew they would. I honestly think it’s a struggle every working mom goes through. Wondering if you are doing the right thing, Is it wrong to go back to work after having a baby? Is your child happy? Are you doing enough for them? Are they getting enough attention from you? And even when you do a really good job, you still think it’s not good enough.
So far my daughter seems very happy in her little life. She’s always smiling and in a good mood. She hardly ever seems upset unless she’s hungry or super tired. She lights up when she sees people. So I must be doing something right.
I hope so anyway…